I have shared this story to just a few customers why I paint rocks. This question and the aspiration to reach out to more people and inspire them has been in my mind since then. Today, I am ready to bring to light my vulnerability and hopefully I could motivate someone here in my Atelier1612 journal.
Forgiveness
In early 2020, I was listening to a church sermon about forgiveness. The pastor’s words struck a cord in my heart and I sat there crying, unable to hold back my tears. I walked around the house feeling melancholy. A week later the church continued on the same topic and there I was, tearful again. My husband encouraged me to talk to our friend who was in the prayer team. It was difficult, I wanted to but I was so afraid. The urge for release, for understanding and acceptance were greater. I walked to her. I told her just a tiny portion of my story and she embraced me in her warm hug. Her prayer soothed my soul.
My husband is a mental health counselor. He has helped me overcome so many hurdles in my life yet I’ve never asked him to help remove this horrible, crushing feeling about forgiving my past…forgiving people I’ve trusted that hurt me the most. I didn’t know how to ask for help. Where do I begin? I remembered he said, “You already did. God has opened your heart to seek. That was why you cried.” I was ready to be healed.
Exercises
The exercises were very tough but I worked through them. In one of the earliest ones, my husband asked me to look for a small piece of rock in our garden and to keep it with me the whole time. I was to channel all my anger, bitterness, sadness, frustration and every negative emotions I have while going through the exercises into the rock. I did not expect for him to ask this question, “You are ready to forgive others. Are you ready to forgive yourself?” This brought on a torrent of tears and boy… have I had enough of crying!!! The guilts that had cloaked me for years finally have a door to leave. It took over three months for me to understand my emotions, the causes and to objectify each one so I am better aware of my response and action to situations that trigger negativity. Each person’s healing is different, your progress may be faster or slower but in order to want to heal, you must work diligently on the exercises with pure honesty. I admitted and accepted my mistakes. It was really tough to do because my initial plan was to forgive people who hurt me, not people that I had hurt. The victim mentality I’ve carried with me did not allow me to recognize the hurt I’ve inflicted on others. My heart started to heal as I learned to accept this reality and acknowledged my mistakes. For the first time in my life, I attained pure PEACE and ACCEPTANCE. The pain that I went through may never go away BUT I now have the tools to handle it in a positive way.
Symbolic Gesture
Anyway…. back to the rock. On the last day of my exercises, I was to throw the rock I’ve been carrying throughout my journey into the river or lake. It was a symbolic gesture to throw all my burdens away. I put the rock on our kitchen counter that night, ready to take it out the next morning. I burst out crying when I saw the rock the next day. On it, my husband has wrote a heart and ‘U’. He even colored the heart red. I still get teary when I recall this moment. And nope…we didn’t go to the river. I didn’t throw this rock away. It has been given a new life – just like I was.
This rock, this little piece of ‘nothing’ that I’ve just picked in my garden was something everyone would have overlooked and stepped on. Maybe even kicked and tossed around when our grandsons are here. I picked it up with the intention to dump all the ugly emotions I have and it was already fated to be thrown away into the abyss, forgotten. Then came my husband who took it and made it beautiful. Treasured. This rock symbolizes my life. God brought my husband to me and HE made me feel beautiful again.
This is why I Paint Rocks
This is why I paint rocks. Each rock is selected with care once I have an inspirational quote in mind. Each quote is relatable to my personal experience. Every time I work on a rock, I say a prayer for the person who will put it close to him/her. I pray for the person’s well being and may he/she be inspired with the quote to live an unburdened, peaceful life. So the next time you look at one of the rocks I have here in Atelier1612 shop, picture the journeys these rocks have travelled to get into my hands. They are beautiful as is without the paint and glitters and have already serve their purpose here on earth. Then picture these rocks being painted with care, love and prayers, ready to spread positive words to someone blessed to receive them. This is why I paint rocks.
LOVE YOU ALL!
~ Alice